Exactly 6 weeks ago today at this time I was getting an epidural and getting prepped for a C-section to meet our precious little one! A very exciting yet scary moment! The emotions you feel when you know you are about to meet the precious baby that has been kicking and doing flips in your belly for the last 10 months are unexplainable! The tears and sobs wouldn't stop! The anesthesiologist had to hand me a kleenex as soon as I was being prepped in the operating room, my husband and I were both in tears on our drive into the hospital. There were tears of anxiety, shear joy, fear, and happiness. We were and still are in awe of the miracle that the Lord blessed us with. The fear and anxiety of knowing you are in charge of this precious life can be overwhelming. Over the 10 months of pregnancy it had been scary making sure to watch what you eat, what you drink, and what you do so as to protect your sweet growing unborn baby but now this baby is about to be brought into a very broken world and try as I may I can't keep her from all harm and all hurt! One day a friend will betray her, someone will make fun of her, a boyfriend will break her heart and I can't protect her from any of that! That is a hard truth to swallow.
The only thing I can teach her is that this world is NOT our forever home that there is a Heavenly Father who loves and cherishes her! He gave his only Son for her!
All day yesterday my heart was so heavy for all these moms and teachers who have had the same fear and had to live out that fear yesterday! SO thankful for a merciful God, the only way to get through a tragedy like this is hope in heaven! Knowing that these sweet children and teachers are being wrapped up in His love, seeing a perfect and beautiful heaven with no more fear, no more anxiety!! Thank you Jesus for saving us, us sinners who are so undeserving!
Through tragedy like what happened in Connecticut it reminds us just how crazy the depravity is in this world and reminds me how thankful I am for redemption in the cross.
Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
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