Monday, April 18, 2011

Cancer SUCKS!!!

I have always HATED cancer, I cry every time we diagnosis a kid with cancer, hated when my grandmother got breast cancer twice, hate it when my parents have gotten skin cancer, every time a friend's mom or dad has been diagnosed, and I have now developed an even bigger hatred for cancer now that it is affecting my mom!! We had our visit today with the oncologist, not what we were prepared for. We love him, so blessed to have him, frustrated he didn't do the surgery but SO glad we have him now. Today was by far the second most difficult day, besides the day of her diagnosis. She has the rarest form of the most common form of ovarian cancer. What does this mean you ask?! It is MEAN, aggressive, and definitely not what we wanted or were prepared to hear. We are going to have to fight it and fight it HARD and we have no time to waste. With that said we go in tomorrow to discuss her chemotherapy agents that we will begin next week. Yes that's right, diagnosed on Tuesday starting chemo 2 Tuesday's later...talk about a sock in the stomach. She will be getting a PET scan on Thursday to assure that it has not spread to her lymph nodes, then starting chemo next Tuesday and then will be getting a port in the next couple of weeks for the rest of the rounds of chemo. It looks like aggressive chemo for at least the next 6 months then we do not know the plan from there. This is not a common cancer. But I love what my sweet friend Ashley said, "It may not be common, but it is to God and he knows the plan, the course and is ultimately in control." AMEN!! Thank God he is in control and not us.

PLEASE be praying in the next week for much peace...we need it!! Tons of tears in the Crosby household the last week and I am sure many more to come. We also ask for much wisdom for Dr. Munoz as there is not a specific protocol for this cancer type so he is following the usual ovarian cancer protocol with an added aggressive chemo agent on top of it. Please pray for my mom's health and strength that she fight it and she fight it well. I have always thought about the day I would be able to care for her like she has cared and nursed me back to health multiple times after injuries, illnesses and surgeries, I just never dreamed it would be now, so soon. I thought maybe when she was 90, I wasn't prepared for now, but I am ready, ready to bless her like she has truly blessed us. Encourage her, pray for her, hug her, love her like she has loved EVERYONE around her. Oh God if you could just make me more and more like her, I would be so happy!! She is honestly who I dream of being as a mother, a wife, and a friend!! I've struggled with God and why he chooses us, why he chooses the pain and suffering we must go through but I rest in knowing that he knows best. As Matt Chandler preached 2 weeks ago, "It is God's mercy to wound some of us, it is his wrath not to wound some." He then quoted Romans 8:28-39. How fitting?! I heard his past weeks sermon was just as fitting per my sweet husband since I couldn't go, I will be getting the podcast. I have already been blessed and honored to be my mother's daughter but even more so today. With a needle in her arm for MORE blood draws, with her bruised up arms, post surgery body, sore and achy, burning in pain, tears pouring down both our faces  and she says, "We just have to remember, He is in control, and He knows." Oh how I love her.....oh God, give me her faith, her grace, her peace, her gentleness...to be more like you and more like her, and so much less of me.  WE WILL Get through this, we will fight it and we will come out stronger....Thank, thank, thank you for your prayers, they are truly felt by all of us...
We cannot thank you enough.

And because I personally love pictures and hate posting without pictures....my beautiful, precious mommy!!

'

3 comments:

  1. We are praying daily for your mom and your family! Your mom is such an amazing woman and will come through this. When I read that it is the rarest form of cancer I thought, how fitting for the rarest form of a woman, someone like your mom is one of kind in beauty and faith. She is someone I love and admire. ((Hugs)) to you and your family.

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  2. I'm a new follower! I'm a friend of Beth Lonero, and she posted your blog. I too went through cancer with my mom. I know how tough it is to go through, so if you ever need to talk feel free to add me on facebook or anything! You're in my prayers!!

    Nicole
    www.thesweetlifeofsemperfi.blogspot.com

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  3. I write with tears in my eyes for such a beautiful family and their beautiful mother who I have known all through our daughters' grade school and high school years. I will pray every night that he gives all of you strength to fight this horrible disease and lets you continue celebrating your wonderful marriage and that of your parents. We love you Steph and all the Crosbys....The Brierton Family

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