Heavy Heart

My heart has been so heavy lately for so many friends struggling with infertility. I always knew it was a real thing I had seen it over and over again as a nurse, learned about it, researched it but now living it out with some friends has been tough. The dream of a child had never been so real to me. As Dennis and I are closer to this venture in our life I have become SO sensitive and compassionate for others. I find myself begging and pleading with God on my friend's behalf. This morning I discovered an adorable family (their blog here) who has been struggling themselves with infertility delivered their twins last night at 23 weeks. They lost one of the sweet babies this morning. I was pleading with God this morning for the health of their other boy and for their hearts, that they would be healed and protected. I also found myself begging God for my friend's that have been heavy on my heart. I also began selfishly bargaining with God that my life has had so many ups and downs that I was praying He would make fertility and bearing children not a difficult one for Dennis and I. I love how God works because about 10 minutes later I read this on a friend's status:

Me: God, can I ask you a question?
God: Sure

Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do you mean?

Me: Well I woke up late
God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay

Me: At lunch the sandwich they made me was wrong and I had to wait
God: Hmm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right

Me: And on top of that, when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager
 and relax, but it wouldn't work!! Nothing went right today!

God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the
other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through it. I didn't let your
car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you.

Me: (ashamed)

God: Your phone went dead beacuse the person that was calling was going to
give false witness about what you said on the call.

Me: I see, God.

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw
out all of the power in your house tonight and I didn't think you would
want to be in the dark.

Me: I'm sorry God.

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me...in all things, the good and the bad.
And don't doubt that my plan for your day is better than your plan.
(Source: unknown)

Gosh, doesn't that seem so trivial yet God has something SO much better planned. I know I think this and feel this way sometimes, but oh the reminder to trust Him in ALL things. In the hurting and in the waiting this is almost impossible to feel sometimes. It's through challenges like this we should realize what a miracle and blessing a new life is.

A friend close to the Adam's said the song below is the song the Adam's have been listening to, to help settle their mind, heart and spirit.

Man what a blessing. Their faith through this trial is nothing but a testament of God's grace and sovereignty. I know through struggles in life I have had to completely surrender and allow the Lord to truly transform me and heal me. Jeremy Camp's song "Walk by faith," has been a song that I have leaned on through difficult times. It's incredible to me that through tough times God has a way of speaking to us, through dreams, songs, friends, family...so glad we serve a God that is greater and better and who's plan is far more perfect than ours! Please lift this sweet family and the friends that are desiring a child up in prayer...pray for peace, direction, and comfort in the waiting. We thank Him in advance for all He has done, is doing, and will do!


  1. I have been reading Robyn's blog since you posted the link on facebook and am praying for them every day. It took me back to the sad days and uncertainty of my own pregnancy and of course made me grateful all over again for my girls. Please let Robyn know that a fellow mom of twins (because she will always be a twin mom, too) is praying for her and her family.

  2. Thanks so much Missy!! I will definitely pass along. So happy for you guys and your little ones:)